How I became a secret agent.

Well, some people have asked why I go by Agent Pipes. In fact, it's kind of weird because my email contains that name and people don't grasp the concept of such a silly name so I end up spelling it. After I do they say "agentpipes?" "Yup!" I say and then... well, that's a tangent I won't take.

Anyhow, I've actually been Agent Pipes (AP) for over ten years now. It started in high school (well, my last high school, anyway. I moved twice my junior year.). I have a friend named Sean who is now a police officer in Brookfield, WI. In high school we were inseparable, but we were a little different than most juniors and seniors. We just had different interests. We were both Christians so we looked for a little different activities on the weekends and during the summers.

One of the things we did was watch Elvis movies. I've seen tons of them. They are actually pretty entertaining if you don't take them seriously. One of my favorite lines is from Jailhouse Rock (guess what song Elvis sang in that movie). Elvis confronts a guy who is pushing around his girlfriend at a bar. The guy says something like "Watch it, bud." And Elvis comes back "Oooh, you scare me. Women beaters always scare me." I can't continue because it will give away the plot, but, anyway, I digress.

We went to fairs and recorded Elvis songs. I have a lot of lyrics stored in my bag of goodies, too. Our favorite was "Don't Be Cruel."

We also recorded home videos. I'm really glad that Sean never figured out how to put those on YouTube - I would never live it down. At first we started out dancing to the good old tunes like "Walk Like an Egyptian" and "I'm Too Sexy" and "Grease Lightning." Soon we graduated from that (because we ran out of moves).

At that same time, Pierce Brosnan was featuring in his first and second Bond movies. That became the inspiration for our new persona. He quickly adopted 00 Hound Dog (it was him that got me into Elvis). I didn't really have anything interesting about me except that I was into power lifting at school; thus, Agent Pipes was born. I'm not going brag about that stuff now - I had my chance to do that at my 10 year reunion and chose to miss it. Sean put together several very funny videos throughout senior year and our first year of college as us living the life of secret agents - but, alas, I'm retired. It does give our families a lot to laugh about when we bust them out to watch.

The rest, as they say, is history.